This is so funny! -How To Determine Whether You Are A Democrat, Republican, or Redneck

Thanks, A.M.

 

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Before forwarding, I sent this to a panel of advisors.  They unanimously recommended forwarding it.  What do you think?

 

Are You (A) a Democrat, or (B) a Republican, or (C) a Redneck?

Submitted by V.M., a Hassidic Redneck from N.C., USA

Here is a little test that will help you decide . You're walking down a deserted street with your wife and two small children. Suddenly, a Muslim terrorist with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, praises Allah, raises the knife, and charges at you. You are carrying your licensed Glock calibre 40, and you are an expert shot. You have mere seconds before he reaches you and your family. What do you do? ? ? ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~    Democrat's Answer Well, there's not enough information given to answer the question! Does the man look poor! Or oppressed? Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack? Could we safely run away fast enough? What does my wife think?  What about the kids?  Should we hold a family conference? Could I possibly swing the gun like a club and just knock the knife out of his hand? What does the law say about this situation?  Is there time to call our attorney? Does the Glock have appropriate safety features built into it? Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society and to my children? Is it possible he'd be happy with killing only me and not my entire family? Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me? If I were to grab his knees and hold on, could my family get away while he was stabbing me? Should I call 9-1-1 ? Why is this street so deserted? We really need to raise taxes, have a paint-and-weed day, and make this a happier, healthier street in order to discourage such behavior. This is all so confusing! I need to discuss with some friends over a latte and try to come to a consensus.

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Republican's Answer:



BANG! 

 
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Redneck's Answer: 



BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!   Click....
(rapid sounds of reloading)

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!   Click....

Daughter: 'Nice grouping, Daddy! Were those theWinchester Silver Tips or Hollow Points?'

Son: 'You got him, Pop! Can I shoot the next one?'

Wife: 'You are not taking that to the taxidermist!'

Are you (A) or (B) or (C) ?

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   L A N   A S T A S L E M!
    I will not submit to Islam!